fear

commitment scares the shit out of me.

but nobody is supposed to know that it didn't feel right,

when you pulled me down and asked me to stay.

smoke curling arms around legs and limbs.

nobody is supposed to know that it cut me off,

thorny tendrils wound through eye sockets and brain cells.

away

Every time we talk I try so hard to be nonchalant, 

that I end up stuttering and slipping on my own words.

You're not even someone I want to be around anyway.

Your actions and personality repulse me.

Yet I'm so concerned with what you think that it makes me sick. 

Self-esteem is for liars.

untitled

i am a mess these days father.

each prayer, i must confess, was a lie.

god comes home every night, sick with alcohol and heavy fists;

"there's only one thing you can do with a lazy wife"

redemption spilled sickeningly on the kitchen tile in scarlet.