predictable

the wind whistles songs behind my back while we look at the world together. everything is so green, even with the permanent glaze that i look through, and i can see your teeth even from here. there are no words anymore for how the ground radiates comfort, and your smile. i wait and watch for the second when the skin that encases this moment frays and dissolves; i sit in anticipation for when i'll start wishing i could still hold onto every rough edge, and the disappointing moment when i feel them soften anyway and slip away between my fingers, wasted.

experiential experience

it's raining in Iris,

drops trembling at the edge of the trees,

flooding, they rush past the ducts and down the bridge,

yawning past caves and valleys,

cascading over the lip and down the edge.

the sea unleashed, but quietly done.

steady and sure

and soft.

ridiculous

i think we get out here and loose our voices all over again.

lung muscles seizing up at the impossibility of life

i think we just die a little more every day

wondering where all the padding went against the black abyss at the edge of the world.

loosening vocal chords for that last desperate plunge over the lip.

looking for normality in all the wrong places,

i let you crack all my ribs back and rifle through my organs

afraid to confront reality, i locked up all my emotions

and left them for dead in the basement corners of my heart.

they came back to haunt me instead.
monsters!

and while these grimy fingertips creep back into the brain.
for once in this life it will never be quite the same.

where in the world.

suck that oxygen down and lie as pretty as you can for me.

because i swear to god, at two in the morning,

you sound like a song i can't remember

we sit here, juxtaposed,

listening to my fears rustle around in the walls and down the stairs

and it's so beautiful i forgot how to breathe again

shedding bruises and a constant fear

i'll settle here and tell you everything i know about being in love

we'll rot away together in the face of the world.

while the songs in my bones put the words in my head

and when they sink into the paper off the end of a pen

i'll sing them for you.

pathosis

i sit in quiet corners and watch the skin peel off my hands in layers

i stare at the dark spaces between things and spend too much time daydreaming.

i divide and divide and fall apart all over again,

crying while my lungs sing drunkenly medicated melodies to the blank whiteness of the walls.

i forget every day just a little more why i do things, and crawl along the baseboards winding all the clocks back.

i go mad and the insanity stalks the edges of my pupils, causing seizures, freezing limbs,

choking, exhaling, shuddering, sobbing, thrashing, miserable.